S, WWJD?

Let's say Jesus Christ was around today.

You know... walking, talking, drinking, preaching and having a blast down at The TUB's Annual Beach Party in Rio.

If that were the case, seriously, what WOULD Jesus do?

• Shop at the Wal-Mart on Center Street in Kansas City.
• Forgive George Lucas for his sins of the Jar-Jar.
• Kick the crap out of Sarah Palin and then vote "Independent".
• Turn Reality Television into Wine.
• Use Jesus' Mind Tricks to win big in Vegas.
• Lie, cheat, steal, fuck, kill, lather, rinse, repeat.
  
• Probably play a lot of Wii Sports Resort.
• Nail himself back up on the cross in his front yard on Halloween.
• Pray to Optimus Prime (just like the rest of us)
  
• Demand an explanation for "Zhu Zhu Pets".
• Hopefully, take a naked confession from Flo, The Progressive Insurance woman.
• Star in his local community theater's production of "Jesus Christ Superstar".
• Go get a tribal tattoo because tribal tattoos are the ballz.
• Buy a brand new Dodge Challenger and go really fast on the highways. If he got pulled over he'd just use the "hey, I'm Jesus" excuse to get out of the ticket.
• He has a DVR and with FIOS On-Demand. What the fuck else does he need to be doing?