The Wrongman's Fix It Guide: Section 37, Chapter 109, Paragraph 82

Need to take down an over-sized tree on your property? First off, you're going to need a lot of beer for this job. Not some sissy pants blueberry fucktard lager like you'd find in some faggy saggy back ass Boston fuck shop but a real beer. A man's-man beer. That's right. Go get two 30 packs of The Silver Bullet. Coors Light, baby. Grab some friends while your at it, crack open a cold one and chug that slick foam and bubbly fuel especially brewed for the red neck in all of us. Then, fire up the grill and make some mesquite bbq flavor chicken wings. Tell your Aunt Libby to bring over that cole slaw that she makes with the secret ingredient. Yeah, that stuff is the shiz-nit. What's the secret? Balls. Anyway, once you've got a full stomach, fire up the chain saw that juggle that fucker until your palms bleed. Neighbors impressed yet? You fuckin' know they are. Later, when you're sitting by the fire don't forget to regale them with tales of that time you were wicked cocked and ran straight through your fence while carrying a flaming stick in order to chase some teenagers who were... wait, what were we supposed to do? Ah, fuck it. Let's eat.