Something we can all hate: Standardized Testing

Counselors air concerns over length of new SAT
Students complain test is exhausting

NEWTON -- Bo Xu's back started to ache, his hand cramped up, and even the hissing heater distracted the Newton North High senior as he tried to tackle the new, much longer version of the SAT in May. And that was after his fellow students had nearly beaten him senseless for having such a stupid name.

Over the past several months, the 17-year-old senior and other students have been complaining about the length of the test to their guidance counselor, Brad MacGowan. Worried, MacGowan began airing his students' concerns to hundreds of counselors around the nation via e-mail and realized he had company. He also realized he had a boner. (WTF?)

This week he sent a letter to the College Board asking it to let students have the option to take the three-part SAT over one to three days, instead of in one sitting of three hours and 45 minutes.

The letter was signed by more than 250 counselors who were hearing the same concerns Xu expressed.

What else do the students not like about the SAT?

• Well, for one, IT'S A TEST.
• It asks unusual questions like "who do you buy your drugs from? a) The starting Quarterback b) Ms. Krieger, the Science II teacher c) The Emo Goths d) all of the above."
• Clearly, no one has asked "what would Jesus test?"
• There is not enough time for the students to drive the under paid teacher monitoring the exam into a dizzying frenzy of frustration and anger that no amount of patience or narcotics will fight off.
• It would be much better if the SAT was taken online so that Chrissy can chat with Billy on IM about last night's iCarly episode on Teen Nick where Carly like totally has a crush on that guy, you know, that guy... yeah him... and she like pretends to ignore him because, like, she doesn't want to, like, OMG, be rejected, or whatever. LOLZ!
• Multiple choice exams are the devil's work and no one likes the devil's work (except for, maybe, Ed Gein.)
  
• Personally, I always thought that SAT meant "Story About Tron!" Can you imagine my disappointment?
• "You don't have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia? This isn't Russia."
• It's disrupting their all important sexual testing times going on behind the bleachers during study hall.
• In my opinion, the SAT has way too many questions about math, not nearly enough questions about The Goonies.