You know... walking, talking, drinking, preaching and having a blast down at The TUB's Annual Beach Party in Rio.
If that were the case, seriously, what WOULD Jesus do?
- Shop at the Wal-Mart on Center Street in Kansas City.
- Forgive George Lucas for his sins of the Jar-Jar.
- Kick the crap out of Sarah Palin and then vote "Independent".
- Turn Reality Television into Wine.
- Use Jesus' Mind Tricks to win big in Vegas.
- Lie, cheat, steal, fuck, kill, lather, rinse, repeat.
- Probably play a lot of Wii Sports Resort.
- Nail himself back up on the cross in his front yard on Halloween.
- Pray to Optimus Prime (just like the rest of us)
- Demand an explanation for "Zhu Zhu Pets".
- Hopefully, take a naked confession from Flo, The Progressive Insurance woman.
- Star in his local community theater's production of "Jesus Christ Superstar".
- Go get a tribal tattoo because tribal tattoos are the ballz.
- Buy a brand new Dodge Challenger and go really fast on the highways. If he got pulled over he'd just use the "hey, I'm Jesus" excuse to get out of the ticket.
- He has a DVR and with FIOS On-Demand. What the fuck else does he need to be doing?
