The Wrongman's Fix It Guide: Section 633, Chapter 10, Paragraph 8

Blocked garden hose? Get a pound of rock salt, some low grade typical Asian fireworks, 1 cup of aluminum powder, an air compressor and a fully charged defibrillator kit. Figure out approximately where the clog in the hose is and go to whichever end is closer. Stuff in the rock salt, then the fireworks (some crushed, some intact) and use the air compressor to ram the mixture deeper into the hose and, hopefully, right up against the suspected blockage. This is now known as "the stack." Make sure this mixture does not get wet or otherwise compromised in any way whatsoever. Finally, slowly pour the aluminum powder down the hose and shake gently so it settles carefully on top of the stack. While you wait for the trioxyetheline phosphatorious gasses to bleed off, run to the store and pick me up a Slim Jim, a 64oz. Orange Gatorade and some Crumb Donettes. Thanks, man. OK, when you're done screwing around and wasting my time all fucking afternoon, pick up the god damn defib kit, paddle up on both side of the hose, yell "CLEAR" and let's light this sucker off like it's the fourth of July. Now, if that doesn't blast the blockage out the far end, it's definitely going to shock your Great Uncle Sprague's heart back into to porn watching shape for the internets, fucko.