Every time you visit the TUB, you will automatically pile up TUB BUCKS. These TUB BUCKS will be automatically spent for you on some really cool stuff!
- 5 TUB BUCKS and Cap'n Flak will kiss a real girl.
- 10 TUB BUCKS and Dr. Murk will buy medicine for his fungal toe growth.
- Every time you earn 15 TUB BUCKS in one day, we'll staple wings on a baby jew!
- If you earn 17 TUB BUCKS, everyone on the planet will feel 2 microseconds of relief.
- 7 TUB BUCKS and a handshake will get you penal servitude. 5-9. 10-1. You got it!
- 333 TUB BUCKS will get you the director's cut DVD of Murk eating a tube of Preparation H.
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- We'll cancel FULL HOUSE.
- 3.5 TUB BUCKS will ensure the alignment of the galactic center with our own sun.
- If you earn 100 TUB BUCKS... nothing happens. That you know of...
- If you bring a bag of TUB BUCKS into a strip club you can MAKE IT RAIN!
- TUB BUCKS can be redeemed for diesel. COCKED!
- 11 TUB BUCKS are watching you right now!
- Turn in 51 TUB BUCKS and we'll burn down a church and piss your name in the ashes.
There's just no fucking limit to the extent to which we will go to ensure that you stay here at the TUB forever. So, when you think you might be better off at the TOILET (The Online Idiot Ledger of Empty Thoughts - GAY!), remember, we love you more than they do and we are not above shittting in your sunroof. Hrrrrrrrrr. Hrrrrrr rrrrr rrrrrrrr, Ah.
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