Bored at the grocery store, eh? Wife still trying to decide between Campbell's Chicken Noodle and Campbells Chicken WITH Noodle, while you stare into the brighty bright overhead lights? Ha. Play some games! Like what? Well, here's a few quick ones:
Old Lady Hustle - Wait for an old lady to come down the aisle. Pretend not to see her, but obstruct her path with your body or your cart. Pretend to be looking for something. If she says "Excuse me." respond "No." without looking at her. If she tries to get by make a steady, machine like "AHHHHHHHHHHH" and act like a hockey goalie. Let her by eventually and say "Just what I expected," point and laugh.
Price Talk - Look at itmes. Tell the items something about their price in a very loud voice, like, "Hey, canned olives. Your price SUCKS!" Or, "Ketchup! Nice job on that discount, Kimosabe!"
Unauthorized Babysitter - Find the annoying kid in the store. You know the one who thinks he's a plane and rams the cart into your heel? Him. Make a few funny faces to warm up. Make a few sound effect noises too. Pop a blood capsule in your mouth and start choking and coughing. When he gets scared or cries, get up and scream and chase him. When his mother gets irate, demand she pay you for baysitting service.
Meat Market Comic - Do a really bad grocery store stand up routine by the deli. It has to be the deli because that's wheere people are forced to wait. Say things like, "Can you believe all this baloney they're selling us?" or "Man, they some crazy crackas in ailse seven!"
There are many many more things to do, but shut up and cry yourself to sleep, doghead.
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