He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

Tiger Woods' caddy says sex scandal came as a surprise
Carl Spackler says he's disappointed in his friend, but supportive because he’s lean, mean, and not too far in between

(WINNETKA, IL) -- The man closest to Tiger Woods when he plays golf says he had no idea about the extramarital affairs that have sidelined Woods from the game.

Carl Spackler, part time grounds keeper, part time gopher hunter and part time pro jock to Woods, talked to Illinois TV12 about the scandal.

"You know, uh, it’s your typical Cinderella story," Spackler said in an interview posted on Thursday. "Outta nowhere. A former schoolboy becomes the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... he’s in the hole! He’s in a lot of holes!"

Woods, 34, apologized last month in a tightly controlled televised statement for his "irresponsible and selfish" behavior, which he said included infidelity.

Spackler, a one time caddy to the Dalai Lama, himself, Twelfth son of the Lama, said that he believes with the apology “there won’t be any money. But, on his deathbed, Woods can still achieve total consciousness. So he’s got that going for him... which is nice.”

The February 19 statement was his first public appearance since he crashed his black Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant and a tree near his home in November. The crash and reports about why it happened sparked a barrage of infidelity allegations against the golfer, who has two children with his wife.

When asked about that particular incident, Spackler seemed to be more concerned about the grass that Woods apparently drove over. “His lawn is a hybrid. It’s a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff. What a waste.”

Spackler said he would not have kept it secret just to protect his job.

"I'm a straight up sort of person. I get into this dude's pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who's Woods ally? His friends. The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit," Spackler said. "But I told him you can’t go around telling all the girls that you got a salami to hide or they’ll lock you up and throw away the key."