Oscar quotes and other things that annoy me... from on and off the Red Carpet

• "Who are you wearing?" Holy fuck I hate that.
• "I hope you understand that this is not the Emmys."
• Anytime anyone anywhere mentions the movie Avatar.
• "Jennifer Lopez... welcome."
• "Go in there and have a good time."
• Blah blah blah white power blah blah blah.
• Uuuggghhhhh... it's Miley.
  
• James Cameron, who did you fuck during this film?
• The realization that Whoopi Goldberg has "wet pants" - WTF?
  
• "Look at that swirl, girl!"
• And the Oscar goes to... COUGARTOWN: THE MOVIE.*
• So, Jabba, is it exciting to be the first of the Hut Clan to be nominated for an Academy Award?
• Oh shitballs... it's NPH!
• Jeff Bridges... whistling like a fancycock fuckpants fagboy.
  
• "What's with all that Hitler memorabilia?"
• Gee, I thought Penelope Cruz could actually speak English.
  
• "I love you more than rainbows, baby." GAY.
• Wait wait wait wait wait... wait... wait... wait. That's Molly Ringwald?
• I see that, once again, Judd Nelson smoked some meth just prior to going on stage.
• The term clothes-whores is about as funny as having two hosts.
  

*no, no. I'm kidding.