Proposed Wikipedia Article

Dear Wikipedia. I know you read my blog and I propose you replace the current article about ants on your website with this, more accurate and stunning article.

Ants

Ants are little things that crawl on the ground and eat leaves. They have portly little bellies and some people eat them. Many of our former presidents were ants or loved ants. Most were not ants. A dog can beat up an ant in like 2 seconds. There are many types of ants, like flying, fire, water, air, corn, burglar and gay ants.

Ants sting people viciously every year and they die. The ants lose their stingers and die in the process as well, which is fair. Many people consider ants a fruit, but scientifically, they are vegetables because they don't contain seeds.

I eat ants every day. See above. And above. And above that.

Ants have very small lips but can still use police whistles.

What do you call 10,000 ants in a swimming pool? Poolut-ants! Ha ha.

As the years go by, ants become more valuable than even you can possibly imagine. Thanks to ants for all they have given us. Hooray!