All I need to know in life I learned from my new solid state switch sump pump

• If you haven't protected yourself against Material Defects and Workmanship, you haven't protected yourself from shit, boy.
• You don't need to see the problem in order to fix it. You need to feel it.
• It's OK to tell people that you have a "Unitized Carbon Ceramic Shaft Seal For Longer Life."
• Same goes for "permanent lubricated sleeve bearing never needs oiling."
• When you're working, you need to be heard.
• Repeat after me: troubleshooting saves lives and laundry.
• Always check that you checked your check valves.
• It's amazing what the power of just one horse can do.
• Keep your impeller clean and you too can live forever.
  
• Moses may have parted the Red Sea but can he reliably pump out 5,400 gallons per hour from underneath my foundation?