- "Who are you wearing?" Holy fuck I hate that.
- "I hope you understand that this is not the Emmys."
- Anytime anyone anywhere mentions the movie Avatar.
- "Jennifer Lopez... welcome."
- "Go in there and have a good time."
- Blah blah blah white power blah blah blah.
- Uuuggghhhhh... it's Miley.
- James Cameron, who did you fuck during this film?
- The realization that Whoopi Goldberg has "wet pants" - WTF?
- "Look at that swirl, girl!"
- And the Oscar goes to... COUGARTOWN: THE MOVIE.*
- So, Jabba, is it exciting to be the first of the Hut Clan to be nominated for an Academy Award?
- Oh shitballs... it's NPH!
- Jeff Bridges... whistling like a fancycock fuckpants fagboy.
- "What's with all that Hitler memorabilia?"
- Gee, I thought Penelope Cruz could actually speak English.
- "I love you more than rainbows, baby." GAY.
- Wait wait wait wait wait... wait... wait... wait. That's Molly Ringwald?
- I see that, once again, Judd Nelson smoked some meth just prior to going on stage.
- The term clothes-whores is about as funny as having two hosts.
*no, no. I'm kidding.
