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Ten Useless Things you probably don't want to say on voice mail
- Dude, your Mom feels sooo good.
- I'm going to kill you and no one will ever know it was me. MUAHAHA! Hello?
- (singing) Happy Hitler to you! Happy Hitler to you! Happy Hitler dear frauline! Happy Hitler to you!
- So, no, I didn't wear protection. But, I figured, hey, when am I ever going to get back to Haiti?
- My iPhone is going to fuck your Blackberry and there's not a god damn thing you can do about it.
- Uhhhhh... uhhhh... almost there.... almost... UHhhh!
- Dear Jesus. FUCK OFF AND DIE AGAIN, WOULD YOU? Christ!
- Sorry, honey, but I'm going to get home even later than I thought tonight because Hooters has extended their hours.
- Hello, my name is________ and I am looking to purchase a massive amount of cocaine so I can start dealing it to underage students at the local high school. Please call me back with your rates and availability. Thank you.
- Holy shit, I am so fucking drunk right now. Wait... what exit was I supposed to take to get to your street? Whatever. I'll figure it out after I do this shot.
2 comments:
Some of those are real. I said a few.
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