Things Women Should Never Talk About

Men like women because they're pretty. Unfortunately, many women outside of China and The Middle East (jihad) talk. And they have magazines that tell them what to talk about and that men are jerks if they don't sit and listen to this crap. Look, men are smart enough to know that you don't talk sports, dumps, carpentry or car repair with a woman, so women should know what topics they should never talk about with men. It would certainly make life easier for everyone. here's a list of things men don't want to hear about, ever, if they want to keep men interested:

- Periods

- Other people's relationships

- Irregularity

- Feminine hygene

- Ex boyfriends

- Oprah

- Cleaning

- Vegetarianism

- The French

- Women problems

- Girly arguments

- Topsfield

- Energy bars

- Holographs

- Gay books

- Congresswomen

- Equal rights

- 1942

- Self serve versus full serve

- Wallpaper

- Lace

- Lace curtains

- Shoelaces

- Cagney and Lacey

- Lace and Mace to the Face

- Carbon

- Monster

- Hopes and fears

- Their dumb children

- Cobra Commander

- Genital warts

That pretty much covers it. Not every guy needs a supermodel, but no guy wants Mitzy Burger and Virginia Woolfe's demon spawn chasing their stiffy.