Ten Useless Things You Absolutely DO NOT Want To Say To Your Clients

1. Have you met my business partner? He used to eat shit for money.
2. That idea is about as good as me fucking your mother.
   
3. I'm sorry I wasn't listening because your annoying voice makes me want to tear the balls right out of my sack.
   
4. How about I charge you the exact amount that it's going to cost for me to go on a two week first class vacation to Bermuda?
5. Your leading visionary talents empower me to thoroughly ideate our corporate mission statement.
6. During today's meeting, I'd like to cover YouTube's latest videos of monkeys hurling their own feces.
7. Wow! I've got to say that you look fantastic in that pink button down shirt, finely pressed khakis and purple sweater vest.
8. Did you guys catch Leno last night? I didn't because I was too busy getting a $9 blowjob from a toothless hooker in Brockton.
9. Hey, I know what we should do! Let's drop acid and fly kites at the Chucklehead concert!
   
10. You shall henceforth be known as Dr. Buzzkill Von Fuckbaggs.