Movie Review

How to Frame Your Last Airbender's Avatar

M. Knight Pixar Cameron's latest offering is a saucy tale of rebels, soldiers, cute Mongolian monks, and of course, cgi creatures. I hoped in my K Car, bought 4 gallons of low lead and headed off to the drive in to experience this gnarly funbag of fantasy tussling with my best girl Imaginary. We were pleased with the popcorn, but it was too expensive and so we made out instead.

The script was well written, for a juvenile attempt at capturing the hero saga epic. The characters are cardboard cut out renderings of cliche archetypal heroes from more more interesting works by Tolkien, Asimov, and that guy who wrote King Arthur and Beowulf. The imaginary bullshit stands up pretty well to my recent dreams about killing fairies. But we don't go to movies to read (often) and so let's talk visuals.

Now, with a ten strip of acid in my system, I can't tell you what I saw, but the way I saw it was spectacular. The music was a stone groove and made that headless thing with the macaroni really jump out at you, me, the universe, wow. If one of many many things disappointed it was the over reliance on computer animation and puppets. So fake. I could tell it wasn't real. The blue chicks were hot and barely clothed, so, hey I guess it could be worse.

The acting sucked. I didn't recognize a single actor. people kept booing the actors for their bad acting. The actors acted like they'd never acted before. Then the thing blew up and I knew it was total crap. So, I made a few people scream by pouring hot coffee on them to compare to the on screen screams. Yep. Bullshit screams. Totally.

So, for ten dollars, you can either get a complete rub-out down the street or go see this movie. Or, if you have a gun, and I know I do, you don't pay for either. In any case, I highly recommend bashing this movie on forums and blogs even if you've never directed or acted in a movie before. Please be careful, and I'll see you at and after the movies!