Today's Useless Repost

Dear Steve Jobs,

You just had to go and do it, didn't you.

Conjuring up a kick ass company with amazing, industry leading products wasn't enough, was it?

No, no, you couldn't just revolutionize the distribution and playback of music for all time. I mean, obviously doing a shit load of drugs and finding spiritual enlightenment in India just prior to becoming fucking billionaire couldn't possibly be sufficient for you, could it? Of course not.

You had to go and do it. You just couldn't settle for everything. You couldn't just have anything. You couldn't just be like a King who is satisfied with his kingdom and rests on his laurels to the benefit of the people.

Nope. Not you. Not the almost-late great Steve Jobs.

YOU JUST HAD TO GO AND PERMANENTLY RUIN A LETTER OF THE FUCKING ALPHABET.

I mean, you literally destroyed it. It will never be the same.

Steve Jobs: you killed the letter i.

If I was a lower case i at this very moment, I would be sitting in my unfinished basement, hiding from my psycho wife and kids, drinking cheap Russian vodka from my secret stash while spinning the cylinder of a barely loaded revolver and snapping it back into place in a desperate hope that a round will finally enter the chamber and I can blow my fucking brains out.

Yes, that's right. You ruined it for all of us.

Now everything is iThis and iThat and iFuck and iShit and...

Holy fucking fucktits, Steve, what the fuck?

And don't start pretending like it was your super cool product marketing teams and you had nothing to do with it. I know you pulled that iPod name out of your ass just after you took a massive LSD induced shit in the dunes off of some magical Californian beach.

Jesus fuck, I hate you!

So, what's next, fuckface? Are you going to piss on g? Rape d? Fuck r's mother? Kick y in the balls? Hang out with the XXX sisters and shove dollar bills down a's thong until she agrees to blow you in the back alley while her boyfriend t is forced to watch?

I wonder what it's like to be you. I mean, did you wake up one day and while you were putting on your overdone custom fit jeans and a trendy black mock turtleneck product launching outfit, did you just decide that you had so much influence and power that it was time to thoroughly pulverize a helpful, innocent letter that had been in existence for thousands of years?

Whatever. I'm just jealous.

By the way, are you hiring?