LeBron GAYmes

According to ESPN.com:

 

"LeBron James is planning to announce the team with which he will sign during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard has learned through independent sources.

ESPN would only confirm that active discussions for the special are ongoing. But sources tell Broussard that representatives for James contacted the network, proposing that James makes his announcement during a 9 p.m. ET special."

 

Who freaking does that? They call ESPN and ask for their own special about what team they are going to sign a contract with? It's unprecedented in the world of sports. How freaking conceited do you have to be to request your own sports special? Here's a list of other things LeBron requested having to do with his life:

 

- The Emergency Broadcast Network will now be the LeBron Signing Network

- Oprah Winfrey will host leBron History Month in February.

- His High School diploma will now read Doctorate of High School Awesome

- He will now be referred to as God James Jesus Jimminy Cricket King LeBron Woof!!!!!!@awesome.com

- All hospitals will have a LeBron Wing added for those unfortunate souls recovering from being LeBron James

- Websters Dictionary will now add LeBron James too all definitions, but only is a positive way.

- The United States Congress will begin each session with a vote on how cool LeBron is and immediately pass it into law.

- The National Anthem will be changed to LeBron Puppet commercials before games and events.

- On the night of their marriage, any hot chick will immediately sumbit to LeBron sexually.

- Firemen and Nuclear Missiles will now be referred to as LeBrons.

- Any time LeBron's name is mentioned, all must fall to their knees and excecute themselves.

- LeBron will be shot out of a canon into adoring fans to begin the Olympics.

 

In related news, I'm holding a 2 hour Special on CNN all about how I'm going on vacation tomorrow. Stay tuned.