An Eulogy for Gary Coleman

Little Brother,

You made me laugh when I was smaller than you.

Then, Strokes got kinda lame.

Then, Webster ripped off your gag.

Your costars got AIDS and went to jail.

Your real mom and dad were not white.

Now, I will TiVo your lame ass show,

And hope I get that one

Where the fat chick falls in love with you,

And you dis her.

You were hardcore, little man.

In heaven, they will welcome you

With one of those mini-cars

That go fast.

Or they will give you a tall body,

Or something.

Now you can reach anything you want, baby.