All American Apple Pie Recipe

Everyone loves pie. Except communists. Here's a quick and easy apple pie recipe. It's so easy, even a heroin addict can make it!

1. Locate orchard.

2. Drive past orchard.

3. Sniff for pie baking.

4. Don black fatigues.

5. Track pie.

6. Setlle into horse stance.

7. Surprise unsespecting Grandma.

8. AXE KICK

9. AXE KICK

10. AXE KICK

11. Relax.

12. AXE KICK

13. AXE KICK

14. Take pie.

If you don't have time for all that, here's a quick version you can do in your Radar Range:

1. Enter bakery.

2. Deflect suspicions with banter.

3. AXE KICK

4. BACKHAND BACKHAND

5. UPPERCUT CLENCH KNEE KNEE RELEASE

6. Take pie.

7. AXE KICK

For even quicker results, try this recipe.

1. Call Mom

2. Demand pie.

You can always AXE KICK to taste later.

Thank you, and remember to clean those rubber before reusing.