Today's Useless Advice

Bad times to use "that's what she said."

• Unfortunately, it's cancer and it's inoperable.
  
• I will not have my ship shot out from under my ass.*
  
• He's running for office again this year?
  
• I'm sorry, sir, but the cost is $25 for each checked bag.
  
• A tornado destroyed 14 homes in a suburban neighborhood today.
• Honey, I got the tires rotated and it only cost 20 bucks!
• In my opinion, nuclear power is safer than coal.
• The tradeshow is in Las Vegas this year.
  
• I'll start with the mozzarella sticks and then I'd like the Texas Burger, please.
  
• Apparently, they found a second plume of oil leaking underwater.
• We need to put down some pesticide on the lawn to combat all of those disgusting bugs.
• Allan, how does this lobster make you feel?
  

*Capt. Ernst Lindemann