10 Useless Things you probably don't want to say to Rolling Stone Magazine

1. Joe Biden can kiss my black ass. GENERAL McCHRYSTAL OUT!
2. Our new album is entitled "don't piss in my shit and tell me I have diarrhea." And, no, I don't care if you've heard that one before.
   
3. Yes, I have experimented with trisexuality. But, what else was there to do in Bridgewater, Massachusetts in the mid-1990s?
4. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast. No, really. I eat shit. It's part of a new Hollywood dieting fad.
   
5. We cant stop here this is bat country.
6. Trust me when I say that sex is more exciting in an ironclad ship.
   
7. Fuck you Gulf Coast. We don't want to hear your whining about tar balls and oil slicks. I've got a couple of tar balls for you right here.
8. Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?
9. I don't believe in charity. I believe in Coors Light.
10. President? That's not a President. (un-sheath large knife) THAT'S a President.