Pick Up Lines

Everyone loves hot chicks and guys, if you're into that thing, you know... anyways, the trick is finding something you say to break the ice and spread the splice. Here are a few suggested pickup lines from some dude living in a public bathroom:

 

"Hi, I'm Erik. Pants off now, please."

 

"Did you just come from the Lunar Lander, slutbag?"

 

"This may sound forward, but I just jizzed."

 

"You have beautiful eyes. If I was a serial killer, I'd tie you up, pluck those eyes out and keep them on my night table. Rrrrrrr. Rrrrrrrrrrr."

 

"I lost my dog. Can I pet your cat?"

 

"I dig chicks like you. Those plastic ones are too quiet."

 

"When you were a kid, did you suck off the neighbors for ice cream money? I did."

 

"I'm gonna go to work on you with my smooth act, zit-face."

 

"You know what they say... The naked chick gets the worm! As in, my dick!"

 

"Once all the fat girls are taken, you'll be the only one left that will fuck me. So, I'll just start hitting on you know to make you think I picked you on purpose."

 

"Oral or anal? Don't answer just yet. Make a clear, rational choice."

 

"You must be a porn star, cuz I saw your labia from across the room. Stretchy!"

 

"You can take the easy route and reject me up front, or be brave and see what's behind zipper number 3."

 

"You may think I'm ugly, but you're just one dark alley away from being Mrs. Ugly Guy."

 

"Hey. Betty. Put out."

 

"I can make you come by snapping my fingers... no wait, how's it go? Oh yeah. If I can make you come by... no, that's not it. You came when I snapped my fingers... aw, fuck it. I want pussy."

 

"Charlie over there said you're too ugly and stupid to blow me in the alley. I'm defending your honor by letting you prove him wrong."

 

"That's a tight shirt. My name is Steve."

 

"Excuse me miss? You dropped your standards. Guess that puts me in play."

 

"Is that a Hershey's Kiss in your shirt pocket, or a nipple boner?"

 

"I shot JFK. Now, tell me your dirty secret."

 

"The music is too loud in here. You're my new girlfriend."

 

"I smelled you from across the room. Potent."

 

"My car has a backseat, and you've got a vagina. See where I'm going with this?"

 

"I need your help. My mom bought me rubbers and I don't want to waste them."

 

"Hi! I just chased you across town and thought you might like to wash my laundry tomorrow."

 

"Nice make up. You must be all kinds of pimply under there."

 

"I'm a friend of your dads. He told me fifty buck oughta do it."