Relax, we know what he really is...

But to us he'll always be
"Captain Ballspike."

Totally Useless (but slightly awesome) Bumper Stickers

• I shit therefore I am.
• Your shampoo smells like butter.
• Lunar landing doubters can SUCK MY BALL BAG!
• If you give a hoot, you'll wear a Rubbersuit!
• Democrebulicindepenreformist For King!
• If you tailgate me, I will pee on your face!
• Laid Off For The Fun Of It
• Horn not working: watch for hurled feces.
• I HEART YOU EGG SALAD!
• Medicare gave me better hair!
• Slippery when gay.
• Sir Topham Hatt is my boss.
• Thank God Phish Is Dead!
• Ceep Canada Cold!
• I brake because the pads squeeze the rotor.
• My Intel Pentium Processor is smarter than your Honor Student.
• Nothing on board.
• My Daddy told me that the wine is Jesus's blood and that's seriously fucked up.
• Don't blame me, I voted for Kirk/Picard!
• Tom Daschele robbed my Grandmother.
• Everything goes better with booze.
• Ted Kennedy tastes like chicken!
• You eat pieces of shit like me for breakfast.
• I heart State Police Jesus!
• Tits make great tits!
• You're handicapped and you don't work at Wal-Mart?
• Going Beef?
• OJ Simpson killed my prostate.
• This car runs on republican semen.
• Suicide Bombers do it with a bang!