Even More Useless and Random Things You Probably Should Know

• Yes, it's true. Sarah Jessica Parker is fucking hideous.
  
• Always... no, no... never forget to check your references.
• Do not upset Chef Boyardee. He will follow you home and have his tasty revenge.
• Lumbergh fucked her.
• Always... no, no... never forget to agree with your wife.
  
• A vagina is required to enjoy the Twilight Saga. That's vagina not vampire. Although, one could argue that they are one and the same.
  
• It's OK to name your Roomba and to drink with it on Saturday mornings.
• The best porn is always made at home.
• Reenacting the Trojan War does not necessarily require a giant wooden horse.
  
• If your last name is Paradise, you should probably be better looking than you already are.
• Never trust a man that invents corporate mascots for a living. He's probably a closeted homo.