The Superbowl was yesterday. We at the TUB watched it, variously and alone, and we think the Steelies should have won. If Ben Rothlisberger had...
- Bought the football a few drinks.
- Had the Penn State Troopers protect him instead of his linemen.
- Escorted Jarrett Bush to the ladies room and raped him.
- Run faster from number five-o like he did in Georgia.
- Bet some hooker he was going to lose.
- Had sex with his sister AFTER the game.
- Not been a total douche of an abortion.
- Put more Jesus in his press conferences.
- Let Charlie Batch play instead of him.
- Leanred to make a pass instead of forcing it into tight holes.
- Leanred Karate (which means open hand in Japanese)
- Stuck to softcore and not gotten the AIDS.
- Taught that bitch a lesson by NOT giving her what she was asking for.
- Given less tongue to Hines Ward.
- Been Tom Brady.
In closing, he's a rapist and should be getting gang banged in prison.
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