Punk Ass Lunar Shit

What Ben Could Have Done

The Superbowl was yesterday. We at the TUB watched it, variously and alone, and we think the Steelies should have won. If Ben Rothlisberger had...

 

- Bought the football a few drinks.

- Had the Penn State Troopers protect him instead of his linemen.

- Escorted Jarrett Bush to the ladies room and raped him.

- Run faster from number five-o like he did in Georgia.

- Bet some hooker he was going to lose.

- Had sex with his sister AFTER the game.

- Not been a total douche of an abortion.

- Put more Jesus in his press conferences.

- Let Charlie Batch play instead of him.

- Leanred to make a pass instead of forcing it into tight holes.

- Leanred Karate (which means open hand in Japanese)

- Stuck to softcore and not gotten the AIDS.

- Taught that bitch a lesson by NOT giving her what she was asking for.

- Given less tongue to Hines Ward.

- Been Tom Brady.

 

In closing, he's a rapist and should be getting gang banged in prison.

More Useless Superheros

Ghost Arab
Perferated Sheild
Tammy Pax
The Googler
The Shiester!
Groan Pains
Evelyn Solar Wind
Egyptian Green Comando
The Last Grandma
Cement Face
Trickling Trickster
Fur Boat
Dragon Eel
Muslim Rummy
Group Hug

Hooray for Science!

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